How Can I Help My Spouse Understand My Addiction?

Discussing your addiction with your spouse can seem impossible, but the odds are it is impacting your relationship, and you need to talk about it. Although it is intimidating to admit you have a problem with drugs or alcohol, especially to someone you love, it is necessary. If your spouse has no experience with drug & alcohol addiction, it can be hard to get them to understand. However, with patience, continued communication, and treatment, you can handle it. 

Not only can helping your spouse understand your addiction improve your relationship, but it can even aid in your recovery. According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, "Research has shown that involving partners in the treatment at some point can be very important in helping the treatment succeed." 

How Is Your Addiction Affecting Your Marriage? 

Whether your partner is aware of your addiction or not, it has likely affected your relationship. Addiction can create a distance between you and your partner you may not even be aware of. Substance abuse leads to secrets, lying, and time away from loved ones. Such behaviors can be linked to shame or stress. 

When the effects of addiction impact your relationship, they usually aren't minor. Arguing and even violence can be a result of a partner's addiction in marriage. What is worse is the cycle this can create; when you feel stressed by the issues in your marriage resulting from addiction, you are likely to use even more. 

Unfortunately, even if you get treatment for your addiction, these marital issues do not disappear. Having your spouse involved in your treatment and recovery will help them see the process and improve your chances of rebuilding your relationship. However, before any of that happens, you need to confide in your spouse and help them understand your addiction. 

Why You Should Confide in Your Spouse 

Admitting you have a problem with drugs or alcohol is never easy, especially when speaking to your spouse. You care what they think and don't want to disappoint them. Remember that admitting you have a problem is an essential step towards recovery and including your spouse in that process keeps them in the loop. Having their support and being honest with them should help you move forward in your recovery and relationship. 

No matter what stage of recovery you're at, the support and care from your spouse and having a healthy marriage can be an essential part of lasting sobriety. 

What to Expect From Your Spouse 

Spouses are significantly impacted by having a partner struggling with addiction. When discussing your addiction with your spouse, try to stay realistic. Yes, you are going through something tough, but so are they. Don't expect them to have the perfect response immediately. Just as it has taken you time to come to terms and talk to your spouse, they need that, too.  

Your spouse needs to accept their new reality. Give them time and patience to let that happen. When they are ready, they will ask you questions to help them understand. Being honest is of the utmost importance when trying to help your spouse understand your addiction. 

How to Help Your Spouse Understand Your Addiction 

Do not wait to tell your spouse about your addiction. You want to be ready, but this conversation will never be comfortable. The longer you wait to share your struggles with your partner, the worse your addiction can become.  

Also, don't sugarcoat your addiction. It is common for those with an addiction to reduce the hardships. However, honesty is the only thing that will help right now. Admitting the whole truth will be difficult but holding back will keep a distance between you and your spouse. Being honest could get them angry but lying won't help. Your spouse should hear everything from you. 

Next, take your time. There is no need to rush the conversation. Pouring out everything all at once might feel like a release, but it can be overwhelming. Helping your partner understand your addiction won't happen in one conversation. You need open and honest communication continuously to get anywhere together. This conversation will have many parts.  

Remember that you have no control over your spouse's reaction. All you can do is tell them what you have to say and answer their questions. Even if they react poorly, with time, they'll likely come around to offer their support. If your spouse is angry or feels betrayed, remaining as calm as possible can help. Becoming defensive will only push them further away. 

Speaking to your spouse about your addiction is a significant first step to recovery. If that is your plan, explain to them that this will be a lifelong journey for you and that you hope they'll be with you for it. 

Remember, Understanding Addiction Does Not Come Naturally To Everyone 

It may have taken you a while to come to terms with your addiction and what it means for you. Helping your spouse understand your addiction is another step in working through it yourself. Support from your partner and improving your marriage can increase your chances of a long recovery. However, not being honest with your spouse or misleading them about your addiction can ruin your chances of finding a healthy path moving forward. 

You need to be willing to have an honest conversation with your spouse about your experience with addiction and what you're hoping the next steps will be. Expect this conversation to be a long one with many follow-up discussions. 

DetoxnearMe.com can assist you in finding ways to make helping your spouse understand your addiction easier with resources and recommendations for recovery and therapy. To learn more, contact DetoxNearMe.com today.